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A Journey from Womanhood - Motherhood

3/30/2015

"Suspended"
between
"Womanhood and Motherhood"

Seventeen years! That is a long time! No matter what the goal, seventeen years is a long time. To get your degree, establish a career, buying your first house, traveling to another continent or any number of things one desires.

But, when it comes to marriage most new wives have a desire to have children. Every couple has an idea when they would want that to happen, sooner or later it becomes "the plan" and when it just doesn't seem to happen questions arise. Then things begin to move to solve the riddle. If answers are slow in coming more extreme measures become a reality until finally, even adoption becomes part of the discussion.

Odia, our daughter, had had just this experience. Throughout these seventeen years of coping with infertility. Painfully waiting, yearning and every month disappointment stabbing her heart. Meanwhile, she was busy expressing her feelings of pain through art. I had no knowledge of this, but it's been in preparation for this art show that these art pieces have been revealed.

It's at this art show "Suspended: It is About Pursuit" that she will be revealing these pieces. Most of them are installations that very
appropriately to her story will be literally "suspended" in the gallery.

All of them are connected to her journey dealing with the seventeen years of waiting for pregnancy to occur. It is art inspired by her life and experience being suspended between womanhood and motherhood. It is a story that a lot of women or couples will identify with. But beyond that, it is a story of human experience where we all experience the pain of being suspended in life. Between where we are and what we hope for or expect in life.

But wait. There is one thing you need to know. Last Wednesday morning Odia gave birth to her first child. After 26 weeks and one day, Georgia arrived, premature for sure (1lb.13oz.) but healthy and breathing on her own. The seventeen years of waiting have ended! Mother, husband, family and child are all doing fine. She is her miracle baby!

One of her large instillation, which she began before she became pregnant, has to do with the miracle of her "suspended" state ending. It's a piece all about healing.

Where are you "suspended" in life? Are you stuck, suspended between what is and what should actually be? You are invited to come, see and experience Odia's journey, but, here's the thing, you may also participate. That's right, in one of her installations Odia invites you to enter the crowd, and prayerfully touch the hem of His garment for your own personal healing.

“Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie.

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Self Talk

3/29/2015

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What is it that "bubbles" up in our minds?
Voices that are positive and helpful
or negative and discouraging?

I am battling with inside voices. Whenever i show my art, I have doubts. No one will be interested. No one will come. My work is not good enough. I should have done it another way....! And on it goes. This can be very destructive.

We, as a family have decided to show our work yearly. It gives us purpose and a deadline. Also, it reflects our life. So it is very personal, hence the self doubt and voices going on.

Some of this work has been years in the making and developing. Finally, some huge and important pieces reflecting our lives have been completed and will be revealed in this art show. Odia's work is especially amazing and touching as it has to do with her experience of not being able to become pregnant for 17 years. There is art there we had no I idea she was doing, even monthly as it became apparent she was again and again not getting pregnant. It is about our lives and our take on things. Should we be revealing these things? The self talk works overtime.

I have a friend who's just written a blog on "Self Talk" which is very helpfull for me today. I'm sharing Seth Godin's comments for myself and for you today below.

Self Talk
"There's no more important criticism than self criticism.

There's no amount of external validation that can undo the constant drone of internal criticism.

And negative self talk is hungry for external corroboration. One little voice in the ether that agrees with your internal critic is enough to put you in a tailspin.

The remedy for negative self talk, then, is not the search for unanimous praise from the outside world. It's a hopeless journey, and one that destroys the work, because you will water it down in fear of that outside critic that amplifies your internal one.

The remedy is accurate and positive self talk. Endless amounts of it.

Not delusional affirmations or silly metaphysical pronouncements about the universe. No, merely the reassertion of obvious truths, a mantra that drives away the nonsense the lizard brain is selling as truth.

You cannot reason with negative self talk or somehow persuade it that the world disagrees. All you can do is surround it with positive self talk, drown it out and overwhelm it with concrete building blocks of great work, the combination of expectation, obligation and possibility.

When in doubt, tell yourself the truth."

You can find Seth at:

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2015/03/self-talk.html

Thank you Seth...I needed that today.

"A helping word to one in trouble
is often like a switch on a railroad track
an inch between wreck and smooth rolling prosperity."
-Henry Ward Beecher”

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
— Willie Nelson

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"Turning Swords into..."

3/24/2015

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A bouquet of swords turning into feathers
sitting in the seat of the
"Throne of Grace"
Unfinished and In Process
Porcelain clay by Cliff Derksen

Over a year ago, I was studying “evil." In the process I ran across a TV series called “Throne of Swords,” I watched an episode or two and was repulsed by it. “Evil” of all kinds seemed rampant in the show. In fact I got the feeling the more evil they could represent the better. I’m sure, getting viewers was the goal. I cannot watch a show with evil as not only its goal but also the reason for its existence as the main substance of its story line.

But, I noticed something. One of the “kings” represented had a unique throne, a throne made up of swords and other military weaponry. The main substance of the throne was swords gathered from victorious battles. Swords from fallen soldiers on the many battlefields this king and his nation had engaged in and been of course, victorious. In other words, it was It was all about making a monument out of implements of death. A monument to the exercise of personal power and success through violence. It was a visual reminder that the very center and seat of this nations way of doing things was intimidation, power and the thumbing of the nose to all who had dealings with them.

Finally, a real symbol of evil. I was inspired to replicate it in clay. It would be a challenge and I loved that.

To make a long story short, I did make that throne and showed it for the first time at our art show last year.

The only thing was, I had wanted to put Saul on that throne, for he was my teacher of evil at the time. Through him I learned what evil was all about and how David the anointed king to follow Saul dealt with it. I measured the throne and made a monster werewolf representing Saul to sit on that throne. When it was completed and fired, I tried seating him on it and what do you know, he did not fit! That’s right, he did not fit! I was shocked.

What had happened is I’d made additions to the figure, like a werewolf with hair, thick beautiful wicked fur/hair. I’d made a whack of hair around his waist and hips, long hair to cover his private parts and so on. Well, in the excitement of creation I’d totally forgotten about the limits of the throne. I had to change my plans. I had no choice, I had to show him separately, and the throne of swords stood empty. It seemed so very empty.

I have to say that with the making of the throne and the monster (Saul) werewolf I’d had my fill of dealing with evil on a creative level. So instead of making another Saul to sit on the throne I began racking my brain for what else I might place on the throne. I've even asked several of my friends what they might envision there. Some Ideas I've batted around include a child, an adult in a fetal position, a sick, thin, dying king and so on. Nothing stuck.

Then a “whiff” of an idea. Since we have the “hands turning into feathers” piece called “Project Angel” in our show already, having to do with Candace’s escape from cruelty, evil and death to a life of peace, joy and painlessness in her heavenly home, I thought it would be nice if it also had something to do with feathers. From there it became swords becoming feathers. Something like the Biblical concept of “turning swords into plow-shares.” In other words turning evil into good.

Wow, I actually did like that. After letting that gestate for a while, I did make it. So now it will be a new piece for our show beginning April 3rd. Above you can see what I mean. A kind of bouquet of swords turning into feathers!

This fits with my/our family approach to our story or anything evil touching our lives. We try to turn any evil into something good. We try to learn from it. We see it as something that is making us stronger, even wiser if that's possible! Then when it is turned to good, it becomes a powerful testimony for how God can change it and use it for good. The surprising thing is it seems to work! It’s our small way of getting “revenge” on all evil in this world.

To see this "Throne of Grace" (and more) get the details by clicking the "Art Shows" page above.

“A rock is harder than a feather,
you can talk and jabber and make exceptions, but in the end,
if you have to choose which one is gonna hit you on the head,
you'll choose the feather every single time.”
Andrew Klavan
"The Truth of the Matter"

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Art Show April 3 - 14 An Experimental Exercise.

3/20/2015

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These crocuses felt a "whif" of warmth,
a warm breeze mixed with a bit of sun
and decided to experiment,
bursting forth in colorful excitement
after such a long a winter wait!.
Photo by Cliff, "Spring Crocuses in Ireland"

Many months ago, I got a "whif" of an idea about my experience of being a suspect for many years. I began "experimenting" with my imagination, trying to picture in my mind what kind of physical images might be a visual that would express the thought, feeling or even some aspect of the reality of that experience.

Now art is not science, but it might be in some respect, in that artist's venture into the unknown, knowing that whatever happens or comes of the experiment will probably not be the real or whole answer. The initial results or in my case actual sculptures might only be just a small beginning of that train of thought. Each piece created, or showing or audience participation, reaction and discussion can or will become a guideline as to where the artist goes from here. New thoughts can inspire new pieces that help round out the idea or take it into new realms that would never otherwise have been reached.

Art is not science, but it is experimental, it is exploitative but may never have a "finished" conclusion that a science experimental can have. We are dealing with human feelings, a moving target as unique as every human is. Not only that, a culture that is also a moving target as unique as every culture, nation and individual is.

That is way it is exciting, inspiring and eternally unlimitedly exhausting in doing unending experiments expressing who we are, what we are and what we long for, in the few centuries of life (in light of eternity) we have to express ourselves adequately!

You are invited to come, see the results and be part of the next steps in experimentation. (See "Art Shows" page for details.)

"Putting a voice to your soul
helps you to let go of the negative energy
of fear and regret.”
― Shannon L Alder

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A Small Confession!

3/16/2015

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This is a blog I'd hoped never to write. I know that project experimentation and risk involves the likelihood of failure. But when it happens, it hurts. And it's hard to talk about. But, I also know, that failure is part of the learning process, and boy did I learn something! OK, it's also hard for a guy to confess to failure, so here I am writing with conflicted feelings. But, of course, it's good for us to learn we're not perfect. So, here goes, enjoy.

I came to the studio one day, excited about larger piece I'd been working on for weeks. It was on it's last stage of drying and I was looking forward to seeing it move ahead in the final drying process, already imagining how I'd be giving it color and how to best show it at our art show coming up April 3-14.

Well, I came in, turned up the heat from the night-time temperature, hung my jacket and moved into my space, turning on lights and beginning to lift the plastic draped over the piece. Immediately, I could tell there was a problem. As I put my hand to the plastic at the base of the piece to lift it up, I could tell there was a problem. My stomach turned and my pulse quickened. This was not good. I should not be feeling any loose "stuff" here! As I worked at lifting the plastic I knew it was serious. When I'd removed the it I saw what you see above! One and a half of the sides of the piece had fallen off and down, crumbled and broken into pieces. That was the loose stuff I'd been feeling! Ouch. I just stood and looked at that for a long time.

It was over! The clay was dried beyond repair. After a certain stage of drying, it can no longer be dampened. It just crumbles! It was all well past that stage. On the right, is one whole side broken and disconnected from each other and one side of the piece. The other half side was in small chunks. I'll tell you it took a long time to accept it. If felt so surreal.

I've had some disasters, but nothing like this. I knew why it happened and hoped I'd dealt with the issues, but apparently the huge piece was of such different levels of dryness that the differences in shrinkage during the drying time just pulled it apart! Now, I know that if I ever try this again, I do need to create the many different pieces and put them together in a more controlled way, mostly at the same time, all being at a similar level of dryness! I'd put the basic inside part together first and the hanging outside parts later. I'd rushed the process and now had to pay the consequences! Respecting the clay....is what I did not do!

The problem was, this was to be the center-piece of new material for the show, possibly, even the only new piece, depending on the course of my life (time in the studio) leading up to the show! But that's another story!

What a mess! OK, I think I feel better now that it's all out there, but here's the thing. I had a problem, what do I do about my art show now?

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker.
Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid
only by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing."
Denis Waitley

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Art Show Announcement

3/7/2015

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We are very excited about our upcoming show:

"Suspended: it is about pursuit."

Opening Evening - Good Friday, April 3, 2015
7:00 pm - in conjunction with
"First Friday" Winnipeg Free Press Cafe.
Reception - Last supper, wine and bread

Show will be running from April 3 to April 14.

Art Talk- Saturday Evening April 11 from 7 - 10 pm
Program: 8:00 pm"SUSPENDED: it is about pursuit"

PLACE: Frame Art Warehouse,
318 Ross Ave. Winnipeg, MB.

DAILY HOURS GALLERY IS OPEN:
"Good Friday" April 3 - Opening: 7:00 to 10:00 (Bread and Wine Reception)

Easter Saturday  April 4 - 10:00 am to 6:00 pm.

Easter Sunday  April 5 - 2:00 to 5:00 pm

April 6 (Monday) - 10 to 1:00 pm - 4:00 to 9:00 pm

April 7 (Tuesday) 10:00 am to 6:00 pm

April 8 (Wednesday) 10 to 1:00 pm - 4:00 to 9:00 pm

April 9 (Thursday) 10 to 1:00 pm - 4:00 to 9:00 pm

April 10 (Friday) 10 to 1:00 pm - 4:00 to 9:00 pm

April 11 (Saturday) 10 to 1:00 - ( ART TALKS) -- 7:00 TO 10:00 - PROGRAM 8:00

April 12 (Sunday)  2:00 to 5:00 pm

April 13 (Monday) 10 to 1:00 pm - 4:00 to 9:00 pm

April 14 (Tuesday) 10 - 12: 00 noon

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Cliff's Creations...

Hi, my name is Cliff, welcome to my website where I share my life as an art teacher, ceramic artist, photographer, father, businessman, leader and disciple. Basically I'm just trying to keep up with an exciting creative life. Thank you for coming along for the ride. You know, that your reading my blogs will make me a better artist so thank you in advance.
Later, Cliff

A Journey from Womanhood - Motherhood

Self Talk

"Turning Swords into..."

Art Show April 3 - 14 An Experimental Exercise.

A Small Confession!

Art Show Announcement﻿

Cliff's Creations...

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