Is Cliff ok dealing with all this negativity?
I know you might be wondering about me by now. I know this project has taken forever and so I've been in this kind of "let's get evil" space and mindset for too long. I'm sure you are all concerned about me and my mental health, my spiritual situation and wondering, is he going off the rails with this passion and focus on such negativity. Well, I've been wondering about that myself.
My art up to this point has been, except for a few pieces quite positive and reflecting on my personal journey and feelings through our tragedy. But I do feel that for us to appreciate the good and the degree of the "fall" of mankind into evil, one must present it for all to consider at some point. Among other things, I just want to say that despite all the evil things we as humans are capable of and do to one another, I really do want to communicate something positive.
I spoke to the men at our 'Men's Retreat' last weekend on the scary subject of Vulnerability, and how that for us to be engaged in life, to go from the bleachers to the field of battle, we must, we have no choice but to engage in vulnerability. Yes, we will get wounded, we will not be comfortable, but we will be doing, we will be engaged, we will be excited, we will experience that power we otherwise, if we stay in the bleachers only dream about. The people in the bleachers are the armchair quarterbacks of life. They are the angry ones, the cynics who always tell you how it should be done. But they are not there, involved, engaging in vulnerability. They do not do vulnerability to their own detriment.
For me, I'm attempting to embraced the vulnerability track. I've dared to come out of the bleachers and join the so called "hypocrites" on the field of battle. I'm giving myself away and embracing the power that is available when you lay yourself and your pride aside. Yes, I will get bloodied, I will look embarrassing, people will wonder about my mental state, but I've noticed I feel good. My heart is in the right place. I can sleep at night. I can love my family and my friends. And, I am loved by the creator of the universe and so I know I am also worthy. Who cares what people think! I'm engaged. I'm excited. And from my limited personal experience of overcoming, we will win. I only, in terms of eternity have a few minutes left. It's time to go for it.
Well, sorry about that, kind of got going there. Now I'm sure your all convince I've gone loco.
We need to get back to our 'throne sitter' and get him set up to represent this evil thing we are dealing with in this world. He needs some major changes to do that well. We need to make an appointment with the surgeon.
Once his head had been replaced with the "scary one" there were other things that needed to happen. I needed to bulk him up around his shoulders and back. His upper torso was to anemic for the violence his new face represented and also the physical size of his head. Monsters are usually depicted with huge shoulders and arms to make them look more violent and dangerous. Therefore my 'scary guy' had to go under the knife for something like reconstructive surgery. Looking at the photo you can see from the expression on his face, he doesn't like it at all. I had to sedate him and keep him sedated for the whole process. Good thing were-wolves don't remember what happened to them while in the wier-wolf mode!
Now I am feeling more comfortable. No one can use him as a metaphor for some kind of good. There is nothing "good" about this guy and that is my goal.
The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts
of the human heart was only evil all the time. Gen. 6:5
Photo by Cliff Derksen, September 2012