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How is my Artist Soul Today? "Yikes!"

9/10/2019

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We have a trip coming up, leaving Sept. 17, back on 26th., going across the world, through Hong Cong airport connection! Pray that will work out! We've been invited to a school to teach on forgiveness. We are both presenting to kids, teachers and parents. Wilma's doing the talks and I'm teaching forgiveness through art. 

So life is a bit crazy, getting everything ready, the packing, the lessons, the weather out there and more. Like will they understand us Canadians speaking English and understand what we are trying to say! 

May the Lord translate as we speak!

​Yikes!


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How is My Artist Soul Doing Today? Moving from Shadow to Sunlight.

7/3/2018

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Gutting this room begins the process
of moving from shadow to light.
Why would you gut a bedroom when you actually need a garage renovated into a studio/classroom?

It's the tree's fault! That huge linden tree in our backyard did it! Guess what, it's not there anymore! You cannot let trees push you around in the cramped confines of city lots. I heard that the roots go beyond the tree's upper canopy of growth, something like one and a half times further. Well, our tree was growing taller than our house and and spreading over our roof. When I heard it scratching I'd get a ladder and trim those branches back, not realizing the implications this was going to have for my basement wall and my pocketbook.

So, that's why this room got gutted, so the fine wonderful "crack in the wall fix-it guys" have access to the whole sad injured wall. 

We did gut that bedroom and a hallway for a further reason. Since the garage is going to morph into an art studio/classroom by September of this year we also took out the ceiling so that the electrician could run the wires from the electrical box on one side of the house to the other along the joists to the garage much more easily. He's charging by the hour so this saves a lot of time and we get to update this basement area.

Don't get me wrong we love trees and did love this linden tree. Our backyard was always cool regardless of outdoor temperatures. Our whole backyard featured a variety of amazing shade plants. We enjoyed the huge amount of large leaves that descended every fall covering everything and bringing fun and excitement as we and our grand kids played in the huge piles of leaves. 

We are now looking forward to a new era. A yard full of sunlight and an array of many new flowering sun plants in our future, corresponding with the changes in my art process, having my studio and art classroom in close proximity for the first time, right next to my own home.   
"All the variety, all the charm,
all the beauty of life
is made up
of light and shadow."

Leo Tolstoy
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How is My Artist Soul Doing Today? Scared and Hopefull!

6/17/2018

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Some of the work of one of my students in my "Clay Class for Adults." It was our last day and these were glazed and are ready to be fired. Loved the teapot with it's vine-like style of handle and base. Note the cups with the same. Great work!
Hi Everyone...I know, it's Sunday and tomorrow, Monday night it is happening! My face, hands, artwork, words, my very essence, my style, my who knows what else, will be displayed on a huge screen for the world to see! 

I love teaching my students how to draw a hole in the road, suggesting to them they could draw this with watercolors on the floor of their house, like in the bathroom so when someone opens the door they will screech thinking their falling into a real hole. Well now I'd love to draw that hole in my bathroom and be the one opening the door, except I'd jump in for real and disappear for a week or so.

Meanwhile, I have to say thank you to many of you who have come out to see our "Theotrinsic" art shows and supported my family and me in our art journey. I hope and pray that this documentary which Andrew Wall put so much expertise and work into will encourage all who have had to go through tragedy of one kind or another. Doing art can be a great healer as it was for me. My attempt to be distracted turned out to be a huge factor in my working through grief, loss and trauma. Art helped me create an image based narrative that re-visited, released and removed blockages so these painful thoughts and memories could be freed up, released to process and move forward in a healing process. 

So instead of using words I was using images and the process of creating them to do the work of healing for my pain. 

We all experience trauma of one kind or another. We all react differently often traumatized, fragmented and speechless, and more.  And we don't want to or don't know how to express it. Art, any kind of artistic venture will help with that. Dance, music, drama, crocheting, needle work, sketching, painting etc. will do this for anyone. 

I pray this documentary will give us all encouragement to move towards healing and a full life despite whatever trauma, large or small has come our way. 
“There is no greater agony
than bearing an untold story inside you.”

― Maya Angelou
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How Does My Artist Soul Feel Today? Dramatic!

6/1/2018

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"Celestial City" set painting for Pilgrims Progress
​by Cliff Derksen
I am busy, overloaded but excited and painting the picture above...white on black. Being as dramatic as I can. It's for a drama so why not be dramatic?

Our school St. Aidan's is putting on a drama, "Pilgrims Progress", at our closing program, on the evening of June 7. at 630 PM. 

I've been asked to paint the backdrop for various scenes including the "Celestial City" you see above. I'm loving doing it and when my wifee saw it told me to stop now....I wanted to continue details...."Noooo it's beautiful, stop now, no more!"

Now she was being dramatic, so I stopped!

Next is "Vanity Fair" now that should be fun!!!!
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How Does My Artist Soul Feel Today? Like Breaking the Rules!

5/18/2018

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I'm teaching my clay class for adults, and we are building up to the main course of creativity....the making of a teapot! We began on the first day with pinch pots which developed into something quite unique for each student, for some it morphed into a vase, another a turtle, there was a dish for laundry room soap and so on. They all began with no idea where it would end up. As the clay took it's form in their hands so to did the ideas of what this might actually turn out to be! It was all very exciting!

We just finished our seventh of the ten classes, the pinch pot is now history, also the mug, and now we are into teapots big time. 

So as any teacher would I taught them the key elements needed to make the pot work. Also how what they'd made till now actually prepared them for this next challenge...I mean project. You don't want to frighten anyone into a frozen mode on the cusp of beginning this wonderful new experience....the tea pot!

So I also made one, following all the rules I'd taught the class! Well, again maybe not. Somewhere in the process I remembered seeing  these log, or tree trunk textured kind of teapots and decided I'd try one. Well, in doing this I still followed most everything according to the rules I'd just expounded on but then remembered that this was now becoming a tree trunk, something natural in nature, it could not be made like I'd just said it should! I could not make something of nature appear all lined up in rows like us humans like to do! 

For example trees don't sprout and grow arranging themselves in straight lines, like we do when we plant trees. We like our hedges, and our shelter belts to include trees growing in lines and rows!  But with a tree trunk kind of teapot I realized I was going against the grain with that idea. (Pun indented!)
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So here's the result! The bark texture would not work with straight lines in a row. That would make it another "mechanical" kind of teapot and not "organic" at all. Secondly, there were the knots, they too would have to be just spread around haphazardly to make this work. And then, the handle. Take a peek at the picture below, I had just taught my class that the handle had to be in line with the spout for it to work. Well, now that you see the picture you can appreciate how a very straight handle would just not do. So I had the joy of rebelling against the teachers rants on several levels, including the final flourish of putting a twist and/or bend into the handle. Don't worry, I was hoping my teacher would be ok with all these adjustments.

So you see, sometimes we just have to ignore the rules and go with our gut, create something new, original, being ourselves and trusting our own instincts. That is the challenge, beauty, adventure and true joy of creativity.
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"I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules,
​how could you break them? "
Leo Durocher
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So, How is my Artist's Soul Today? Humbled and Excited!

5/14/2018

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Since 2016 when Andrew came into  my life with a camera, life had been a bit strange! Now that's saying something because for the last 33 years things have been pretty strange, I have to say not much was normal, everything was strange.

But to have a camera show up here and there was often a surprise and interesting. It was a bit disconcerting for my art studio companions and my art class, but they just got used to it, I think. They were all very kind anyways and hid their discomfort very well, Thanks guys. Anyways, on evening of June 18 there will be a premier showing of a documentary on me and my work called "Suspended, the "Art" of Forgiveness" showing at Jubilee Place (MBCI) here in Winnipeg.
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Foxy David by Cliff Derksen
​Ceramic Clay, Patina Finish

It was of course Andrew Wall of Refuge 31 Films who was the culprit. 

You see, other's have suggested they film us, but nothing really ever came of it, but this time it was different. Andrew just kept on showing up and actually became more than an acquaintance but a friend, in spite of his ever present camera. We would have great talks while he filmed. The only time it got a little tense would be when I'd accidentally hit the lens, not realizing how close he was filming my artistic attempts. 

There are two things it seems, that go on in the act of filming an artist at work. First, it's the artist's problem, because when artists work they forget about everything around them. They get totally engrossed.  Secondly, it's about the filmmaker, the conversation seems so natural. There is empathy there, there is that deceptive admiration, and there is that calming tone of voice which deceives the artist who in his "right minded state" is helpless, confessing things and saying things you might say to a best friend. Forgetting of course it's all recorded both visually and verbally and will one day end up on a screen the size of a wall!

it's only when he leaves with that satisfied smile you realize somethings kind of wrong here. You try hard to remember what you all said and realize you've been had. That he totally took advantage of you as you worked on your stuff, you having totally mentally parked yourself in your right brain world that only sees and feels shape, texture, and color. If it hears anything it only soothing voices with no filters for conversational content! Ouch! 

So Andrew, you did it, congratulations and thank you, I think! It all seemed quite fun at the time, but now to see it on the "big screen" gives me pause. I pray it will be an encouragement to all. 
​
Quote from Refuge 31 Films.com website:
"For Cliff in particular, each period of this long painful journey – from tragedy and death to trial and conviction to now re-trial – also marks his development as an artist. Themes of anger and loss to suspicion and justice have allowed Cliff different ways to express himself and find an inner strength to find forgiveness. Now, years after the trial and with a trail of fascinating and wonderful works, Cliff has moved into not just creating but also teaching the joy of art."
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How is My Artist Soul Today? At Rest!

4/7/2018

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 The Grand-kids and I colored Easter eggs on Easter Sunday afternoon, here's my egg "at rest" ​waiting
for the colors to take hold!
I was thinking about my Easter egg in the middle of it's process of color development!

This egg like me (us) has been rolled around in the colorful events of life. Like the colors now affecting this egg, events in life affect us in many ways. The Reds could be heart pounding, adrenaline pumping type of events. Dangerous things where we've just avoided an accident or worse. The yellows could be really great times, the blues could be....well blues! Kind of sad things. Sometimes really sad and tragic. Now blue is a strong color so to are tragic events, they can tarnish us for the rest of our lives.

But, we usually learn rather slowly, at least I do. It takes time to process everything and like the egg lying in this mass of colors we have to take time to process. Also, the waiting is hard because we really get curious and want to see what the result will be. This is very hard, my grand kids were going "Can I get it out of there now, I want to see it, can I, can I?"  

You see it takes time for every color to have a chance and mingle in just the right way for us. It's how we use our time to deal with all that affects us. It's really all the life decisions we make that will make us who we really are. Meanwhile, we get impatient, take ourselves out, and then get disgusted with what we see, often carelessly throwing ourselves back into life hoping some soul stiring kind of miracle will happen to make things right again.

This past while I was waiting and waiting and the colors were not working for me and I was beginning to get frustrated. Nothing was solidifying...I was going to have to make some decisions between two or three good things regarding my present teaching commitments and ideas for my future teaching career. Whatever I decided I knew would probably offend one or two parties. Well, would you believe other circumstances came along that totally made the decisions for me! Actually felt like someone was reading my mind!) Wow! What a relief! 

I love to teach art. With this development I'm free now to proceed with some new creative plans by which to develop my teaching future in radically new ways. The egg itself being a symbol of new life and beginnings makes "Hatching" something new the operative word!

​I'm so happy I waited, the colors set just right and my Easter egg turned out wonderfully! 

"I see retirement as just another of these reinventions,
another chance to do new things
​and be a new version of myself."
Walt Mossberg

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How is My Artist Soul Today? "Smattered!"

3/30/2018

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Ah, that is a good question, how is my artist soul doing today? I've been working on new paintings for the April 14th Spirit Room "Prophetic Art Show", and to tell you the truth, I'm a bit like the image above scattered, shattered, smattered etc.! 

This time I'm really going out on a "canvas" limb! Why not? We only have one life right? I and I'm also sharing, yes even giving a talk at the afternoon "workshop" with many experienced prophetic artists from many churches in the room! Wow, that sounds quite intimidating. 

Now of course I won't be alone, the rest of my family, Wilma and Odia that is, will also be sharing. Wilma introducing this idea and us, Odia speaking on the prophetic and me talking about how I prophetically came up with my six or so pieces, one by one!   

Testimonies are a good thing, but this is a crazy new thing. Never been done before in Wpg. Wilma asked artists from several churches in Winnipeg if they would consider showing their art in this art show. Now, they have amazing pieces and the show itself will be wonderful. 

Let me just say that I woke up this morning realizing how great a distance I am out of my comfort zone and began mumbling incoherently, I knew I was in trouble!

You see those brains exploding in the painting? Well that's me right now and here's a scary thought, right after I publish this I'm going to my studio downstairs to finish my 6th painting for this show! 

"Help!" Please someone, pray for me!!!   aaaaahhh!

OK, this sounds bad. I just remembered David and his Psalms, he often starts out shattered like this and ends with...like Oh right, God is great, created everything, kept me and saved me in the past, so I know I can trust Him to do the same now....and like him, I now also do feel better already. I think! 

Thank you for letting me vent a bit...my artist soul feels much better now. 
T"The presence of fear does not mean you have no faith.
Fear visits everyone. But make your fear a visitor
and not a resident."
 

~ Max Lucado

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How is My Artist Soul Doing Today?

3/17/2018

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Well, it's been quite a week! Tuesday was the amasing event of the Candace House announcement that renovations were beginning and that they would be having a grand opening in about 15 or so weeks! Wow. That took our breath away. 

Also, just about two weeks ago I viewed the rough cut of a documentary on my art career as it relates to our healing journey. That took me for a spin too. Looks like that will be having it's "World Premier" sometime in May!

So my soul was kind of calmed with the art I'm doing with my kids with reference to Easter coming up. Below you see some samples of the work my middle school students did this week using soft pastel. Everyone was excited about the amazing affects, the colors and just the tone that was set with these pieces of art. 
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So, my soul is resting today. A day of peace and contemplation of the story of Easter and what it means to me. 
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"Art is the stored honey of the human soul,
gathered on wings of misery and travail. "

Theodore Dreiser

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As it Happened to Samson, It Could Happen to HIm!

7/25/2017

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Detail of "Samson" art piece.
So let's go back to me standing in my studio space thinking about what to create next! It's just after the preliminary hearing and it's like, for the first time I've heard the other side of the story! 

"Allegedly" (remember no one has been as yet charged for this crime) so "allegedly" this young man ogled my daughter in the grocery store located beside the school property on the street that she would take walking home. Then, stalked her on her way home from school and one day, chose to force/entice her to the shed where he left her tied up to die of hypothermia. 

This to me was the worst possible example of mistreatment and abuse of women! Something, as I've mentioned before is most abhorrent to me.  Something, despite our programs, rhetoric, justice systems, psychology, education, technology, spirituality etc. we in the west have not been able to solve.  This is not a problem only in primitive cultures or foreign countries, It is here in our own so called civilized and enlightened world! The abuse and unspeakable crimes against women have not stopped nor have we come up with solutions that deal with it adequately!  

As I stood in my studio space grieving and thinking about this tragic state of affairs, my mind went to Samson. The Biblical charecter I had thought of as being at least "interesting" in my youth now came in as an example of what just happened to our daughter! The story's were different but freakingly similar. 

Samson was raised as a "nazerite" which meant he'd had serious spiritual upbringing and training. He knew the 10 commandments, had attended church, memorized scripture and had been trained to be the first "Judge of Israel!. Nevertheless he ignored all this and the spiritual consequences a life of disobedience might bring, not only to himself but a nation depending on his spiritual leadership.

Secondly, he abused his parents by running roughshod over their concerns not only about his abusive fraternization with the women but that he refused to relate to the girls of his own nation and had eyes only for the ladies of his enemies, the Philistines. 

Then, in Judges where his story is told we are informed that he chose a Philistine wife because she seemed "right in his eyes." This is a problem because it's all about her looks! He's chosen her as his wife without consideration of her personality, who she is. And when the marriage fails, he later goes after her referring to her as "his heifer!" How disparaging can you get! The fact of the matter is that even if she's Philistine, she's still a woman, a special creation made in the image of God, with dignity and majesty, with the potential of a personal relationship with God like anyone else, males included.

All sounds similar to the man who abducted our daughter! 

But the list goes on, he abuses her further by going off in a huff, abandoning her, then thinking he's going to buy back favor with the gift of a goat!  Following this he engages in prostitutes ending up with "Delilah." By this time he's so full of pride and confident insolence, independence and insensitivity, he begin's playing abusive games with her which to on one's surprise backfires on him. A woman finally gets the better of him and he actually becomes a victim of his own abuse. He get's his just reward finally as the secret of his strength is revealed. He's captured, his captors gouging out his eyes in the process. Now that's justice!

I guess that's why I had to make Samson with a bulls head. I had to place the two women under his feet. I had to have his eyes empty holes in his head. I had to make him standing on the grindstones which he walked around harnessed to them like a bull, going in circles for the rest of his life grinding grain.

As sad as this all is, there was hope! He was now blind so wasn't distracted with his "wondering eye." He was going round and round grinding grain and so had time to think. It seems that he he came to some resolution with his God, a time of repentance and renewal. A time for his hair to grow again. Ready for the one moment he could finally do what God had intended him to do in the first place, to disable the Philistine enemies of Israel and give them a season of peace. This "God ordained moment" presented itself when the blind Samson was led into a banqueting hall where all the "lords" of the Philistines were gathered to celebrate their great god dagon. Their intention to mock Samson became their demise!

We all know this part of the story, finally he did not think of himself, but gave up his life as he called upon his God for the strength he'd once had to dislodge the two main pillars of the building. In this one act he killed more of the enemy than he'd killed during his lifetime. 

As I mentioned earlier, Samson is listed in the Hebrews 11 chapter of heroes of the faith. Along with Abraham, Moses and the like. Samson therefore is in heaven with all the saints. Here is my closing thought, will this also happen to our daughter Candace's murderer? He to, like Samson has had time to think about his life. I (we) have prayed for him, asking God to intervene in his life. Is it possible for me as a father to one day, in heaven, watch him, side by side with my daughter in eternity? My answer, if it happened to Samson, it could very well happen to him. 
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    Cliff's Creations...

    Hi, my name is Cliff, welcome to my website where I share my life as an art teacher, ceramic artist, photographer, father, businessman, leader and disciple. Basically I'm just trying to keep up with an exciting creative life. Thank you for coming along for the ride. You know, that your reading my blogs will make me a better artist so thank you in advance.
    Later, Cliff

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