The sun is out - neighbors came and blew away the snow on our driveway - the foot swelling has gone down, I had a great breakfast.
It's a wonderful Easter Saturday.
Smiley: "Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth 24/7. So they decided to call it day!"
My story continues
******
After a summer at Harrison Hot Springs, we drove our "packed to the ceiling", little blue Datsun back to Winnipeg.
As we were pulling up into our parking spot on the Mennonite Brethren Bible College campus, I wondered if we were doing right thing? Was it good to come back when we just didn’t have the enthusiasm for this place? In fact a place that sucked the life out of me?
As I parked, I remembered the flat tire a year ago when we had parked here the first time, instinctively looking down to check the tires! They were good!
But the next time, when I was going to bring the car to the front door, I noticed a glint in the gravel ! To my amazement, it was my wedding ring! The year before, I had noticed my wedding ring was missing. Now there it was – lying on the ground for a year or so, waiting for me to find it. An answer to prayer! Another miracle of sorts.
God knew my language – and this was a sign that even if it didn’t feel right, we were in the right place.
As we unpacked, we noticed that there were a lot of students returning with their own "gems" - new babies. The floor was like one nursery with about eight babies almost all the same age. Wilma entered immediately into a secure loving young mothers’ support group.
The problem was money. Wilma couldn’t work full time now that we had a baby. I found work at a spa. Wilma found a part-time job reading to a wealthy blind Jewish gentleman.
Since we were now of the mindset, “let’s get this over with, so we can move on with our lives,” we also needed distractions – so Wilma started to volunteer as an usher for Manitoba Theatre Centre and take an English Literature course.
Together we volunteered as young people’s leaders at the Elmwood MB Church located right next door to the college.
Candace was thriving. She loved people. It was her world. Every time when we opened front door or our suite, she would find a hallway of instant friends, babbling her baby language. She took her first step when she was six months old – and we had a lot of witnesses. She was a star!
Everything was going relatively well –– until I fractured my hand playing football which we had organized as a Young People’s evening. After that I couldn't work - barely do my school work.
The church leadership drew us aside, very guarded about it all… and offered a simple apology and a token compensation that even back then wouldn’t have covered my lost wages. I didn’t protest. I didn’t even ask for more.
By this time, it was almost as if I expected this kind of treatment by church leadership and interpreted it as my fault. I just wasn’t good enough person to be a leader - or even to be a Mennonite - member, worker, leader, speaker, or pastor.
Not soon after this, one of the professors accused me of plagiarism. I couldn't believe it. I actually didn't even know something like that was possible so I asked for proof - at least an explanation - but none was given. Did I omit referencing, could something have been corrected? I was open to learning but the accusation was never proven, never withdrawn or addressed. I felt accused - never given the benefit of the doubt. It was assumed I had evil intentions.
Since I was getting the cold shoulder every day in class and felt undermined at every turn, I found my own escape. There was an attic room in an older house which I claimed as my art studio -- painting to my heart's content.
But as a result of all of this added stress, I was diagnosed with an ulcer. The end of the year could not come soon enough. The stress was beginning to break me.
As graduation approached and churches came looking for candidates, I didn’t even think of applying for a Mennonite pastoral position or any other pastoral position.
I still was proud of our Mennonite culture, our Mennonite belief and values and our strong church culture. I just didn’t have the confidence. I didn't feel that Mennonite people valued me or would ever give me a chance! And if they, my own people didn’t see my worth – who would?
By this time, I had made good friends at college and was offered a full-time job in Steinbach with the Enns Brothers Construction Company. Since they came from a low German background, they used low German terms for their tools - and if you know anything about low German - It was a bit like a reality comedy show the whole working day - so fun.
At the end of year, we were relieved when we loaded up our little Datsun again and moved into a little basement suite in the serene, silent village of Steinbach with Candace giggling and bouncing in the back seat of the car. We had built in joy.
College was an education -- not about accessing God's power and love which I had expected, but about the limitations of man -- also a good education to have.
It's a wonderful Easter Saturday.
Smiley: "Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth 24/7. So they decided to call it day!"
My story continues
******
After a summer at Harrison Hot Springs, we drove our "packed to the ceiling", little blue Datsun back to Winnipeg.
As we were pulling up into our parking spot on the Mennonite Brethren Bible College campus, I wondered if we were doing right thing? Was it good to come back when we just didn’t have the enthusiasm for this place? In fact a place that sucked the life out of me?
As I parked, I remembered the flat tire a year ago when we had parked here the first time, instinctively looking down to check the tires! They were good!
But the next time, when I was going to bring the car to the front door, I noticed a glint in the gravel ! To my amazement, it was my wedding ring! The year before, I had noticed my wedding ring was missing. Now there it was – lying on the ground for a year or so, waiting for me to find it. An answer to prayer! Another miracle of sorts.
God knew my language – and this was a sign that even if it didn’t feel right, we were in the right place.
As we unpacked, we noticed that there were a lot of students returning with their own "gems" - new babies. The floor was like one nursery with about eight babies almost all the same age. Wilma entered immediately into a secure loving young mothers’ support group.
The problem was money. Wilma couldn’t work full time now that we had a baby. I found work at a spa. Wilma found a part-time job reading to a wealthy blind Jewish gentleman.
Since we were now of the mindset, “let’s get this over with, so we can move on with our lives,” we also needed distractions – so Wilma started to volunteer as an usher for Manitoba Theatre Centre and take an English Literature course.
Together we volunteered as young people’s leaders at the Elmwood MB Church located right next door to the college.
Candace was thriving. She loved people. It was her world. Every time when we opened front door or our suite, she would find a hallway of instant friends, babbling her baby language. She took her first step when she was six months old – and we had a lot of witnesses. She was a star!
Everything was going relatively well –– until I fractured my hand playing football which we had organized as a Young People’s evening. After that I couldn't work - barely do my school work.
The church leadership drew us aside, very guarded about it all… and offered a simple apology and a token compensation that even back then wouldn’t have covered my lost wages. I didn’t protest. I didn’t even ask for more.
By this time, it was almost as if I expected this kind of treatment by church leadership and interpreted it as my fault. I just wasn’t good enough person to be a leader - or even to be a Mennonite - member, worker, leader, speaker, or pastor.
Not soon after this, one of the professors accused me of plagiarism. I couldn't believe it. I actually didn't even know something like that was possible so I asked for proof - at least an explanation - but none was given. Did I omit referencing, could something have been corrected? I was open to learning but the accusation was never proven, never withdrawn or addressed. I felt accused - never given the benefit of the doubt. It was assumed I had evil intentions.
Since I was getting the cold shoulder every day in class and felt undermined at every turn, I found my own escape. There was an attic room in an older house which I claimed as my art studio -- painting to my heart's content.
But as a result of all of this added stress, I was diagnosed with an ulcer. The end of the year could not come soon enough. The stress was beginning to break me.
As graduation approached and churches came looking for candidates, I didn’t even think of applying for a Mennonite pastoral position or any other pastoral position.
I still was proud of our Mennonite culture, our Mennonite belief and values and our strong church culture. I just didn’t have the confidence. I didn't feel that Mennonite people valued me or would ever give me a chance! And if they, my own people didn’t see my worth – who would?
By this time, I had made good friends at college and was offered a full-time job in Steinbach with the Enns Brothers Construction Company. Since they came from a low German background, they used low German terms for their tools - and if you know anything about low German - It was a bit like a reality comedy show the whole working day - so fun.
At the end of year, we were relieved when we loaded up our little Datsun again and moved into a little basement suite in the serene, silent village of Steinbach with Candace giggling and bouncing in the back seat of the car. We had built in joy.
College was an education -- not about accessing God's power and love which I had expected, but about the limitations of man -- also a good education to have.
We are not living in a world where all roads
are radii of a circle and where all,
if followed long enough,
will therefore draw gradually nearer
and finally meet at the centre:
rather in a world where every road, after a few miles,
forks into two, and each of those into two again,
and at each fork, you must make a decision.
C. S. Lewis
are radii of a circle and where all,
if followed long enough,
will therefore draw gradually nearer
and finally meet at the centre:
rather in a world where every road, after a few miles,
forks into two, and each of those into two again,
and at each fork, you must make a decision.
C. S. Lewis
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