Beautiful flowers - gifts. Symbolic of all the other guests who have come bringing flowers, prayer shawls, books, and more flowers. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
Smiley
One time this kid came back from school and said “Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?” And his mom said "Good news please.’’ and the boy said “I got 100% on my math test today” and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said “Now to the bad news, I lied.”
There is a twist in my story - another unexpected twist....
*****
It had been five months since Candace's murder, when my wife with tears in her eyes.... whispered to me. "Lily just told me that people and the police are accusing you of killing Candace. There is a rumor."
I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe that Lily was taking the rumor seriously.
People who know me and who know anything about the case, know that I couldn't possibly have done it. I protested. "I had witnesses. I had been in the office all day. The police knew that.... The public might have this need to find someone in the family to blame, because then it means they are safe - but I wouldn't take it seriously."
"No," my wife said. "It's not just coming from the public. The police suspect you."
The impact was like a bomb exploding inside of me. "The police?"
She nodded. "They think that when you went walking around the community looking for Candace, you might have found her in a compromising situation and taken her to the shack and left her there as punishment."
This was so unlikely we couldn't even wrap our minds around it.
So, we weren't surprised a few days later when I was called to come to the police station and to take a polygraph test.
Both of us knew more or less what a polygraph test was all about. We had seen an extensive documentary on television about it; and since the investigation, we had read about it. We knew that it would be a risk, and we discussed it as such. But the weight of our discussion was not on the risk of it, but on how it could help the case.
Right from the beginning, we had been frustrated by the way the investigation had always centered on us. It was now April, five months after the fact, and they were still looking at us. By this time, there had been suicides in the community, our neighbors had moved— the whole face of the community had changed. The trail was getting cold. On the other hand, is it ever too late? Maybe, just maybe, if I took the test, they might finally look somewhere else.
Even though we knew the polygraph would not hold up as evidence in court and probably didn't have much credibility with the majority of people, we also knew the police put a lot of stock in it. It spoke their language. Christine Jessop's parents from Queenston, Ontario had said the same thing. When Christine's father had been accused of killing his daughter, he had taken the polygraph to convince the police.
I don't remember being full of fear when I went to take the test. We knew the risks, but I think at that stage we would have done anything to refocus the case.
I don't think I even had much faith in the process. But the process itself convinced me. After hooking me up, they gave me a new, unmixed deck of cards and told me to pick one - hide it under the table and to not tell them which one it was as they listed the cards. They wanted me to lie. When they went past the card I was hiding and I denied it they knew exactly which one I was hiding.
That woke me up.... I believed in the test after that. The questions were not easy -- asking me personal things that I didn't want to admit even to myself, but I answered them all honestly - not caring the impression I gave them.
The worst moment for me was when they laid out the accusations of the murder and I realized that this was no game, no routine exercise. They were deadly serious.
But once it was over and I was about to leave, the polygraph technician said to me, "You are an honest man." He had then taken a thick, oversized file and dropped it onto the desk. "We can throw this away now."
Things changed after that. We could tell that they weren't as interested in us - paying attention elsewhere.
It was worth it - to gain their trust.
Smiley
One time this kid came back from school and said “Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?” And his mom said "Good news please.’’ and the boy said “I got 100% on my math test today” and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said “Now to the bad news, I lied.”
There is a twist in my story - another unexpected twist....
*****
It had been five months since Candace's murder, when my wife with tears in her eyes.... whispered to me. "Lily just told me that people and the police are accusing you of killing Candace. There is a rumor."
I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe that Lily was taking the rumor seriously.
People who know me and who know anything about the case, know that I couldn't possibly have done it. I protested. "I had witnesses. I had been in the office all day. The police knew that.... The public might have this need to find someone in the family to blame, because then it means they are safe - but I wouldn't take it seriously."
"No," my wife said. "It's not just coming from the public. The police suspect you."
The impact was like a bomb exploding inside of me. "The police?"
She nodded. "They think that when you went walking around the community looking for Candace, you might have found her in a compromising situation and taken her to the shack and left her there as punishment."
This was so unlikely we couldn't even wrap our minds around it.
So, we weren't surprised a few days later when I was called to come to the police station and to take a polygraph test.
Both of us knew more or less what a polygraph test was all about. We had seen an extensive documentary on television about it; and since the investigation, we had read about it. We knew that it would be a risk, and we discussed it as such. But the weight of our discussion was not on the risk of it, but on how it could help the case.
Right from the beginning, we had been frustrated by the way the investigation had always centered on us. It was now April, five months after the fact, and they were still looking at us. By this time, there had been suicides in the community, our neighbors had moved— the whole face of the community had changed. The trail was getting cold. On the other hand, is it ever too late? Maybe, just maybe, if I took the test, they might finally look somewhere else.
Even though we knew the polygraph would not hold up as evidence in court and probably didn't have much credibility with the majority of people, we also knew the police put a lot of stock in it. It spoke their language. Christine Jessop's parents from Queenston, Ontario had said the same thing. When Christine's father had been accused of killing his daughter, he had taken the polygraph to convince the police.
I don't remember being full of fear when I went to take the test. We knew the risks, but I think at that stage we would have done anything to refocus the case.
I don't think I even had much faith in the process. But the process itself convinced me. After hooking me up, they gave me a new, unmixed deck of cards and told me to pick one - hide it under the table and to not tell them which one it was as they listed the cards. They wanted me to lie. When they went past the card I was hiding and I denied it they knew exactly which one I was hiding.
That woke me up.... I believed in the test after that. The questions were not easy -- asking me personal things that I didn't want to admit even to myself, but I answered them all honestly - not caring the impression I gave them.
The worst moment for me was when they laid out the accusations of the murder and I realized that this was no game, no routine exercise. They were deadly serious.
But once it was over and I was about to leave, the polygraph technician said to me, "You are an honest man." He had then taken a thick, oversized file and dropped it onto the desk. "We can throw this away now."
Things changed after that. We could tell that they weren't as interested in us - paying attention elsewhere.
It was worth it - to gain their trust.
"We are not what we do. We are not what we have. We are not what others think of us. Coming home is claiming the truth. I am the beloved child of a loving Creator.
- Henri Nouwen
- Henri Nouwen
RSS Feed