Memories of the deer that came to visit me. I'm expecting many wonderful visitors this next week..... Restrictions have lifted. We can now visit as long as I can stay awake.
"What's a dogs favorite homework assignment?
A lab report!"
Time to reflect....
********************
How could we forgive?
Let's revisit that question....
Apparently, the murder of a child committed by a known rapist – for intentional sexual gratification - is unforgiveable.
According to the research, we were faced with an incredible challenge. Child abuse is considered "impossible to forgive" by nearly nine out 10 British adults. Murder and rape are close second. A poll for the BBC suggests that to experience both would double the validation that what we experienced was unforgiveable.
We didn’t know that it was unforgiveable.
But it is something we chose to do - and if we consider forgiveness as the ability to carry on our lives - we did this. It wasn't pretty but we stayed the course.
How did we do this? I would say we had a lot going for us....
We could list more , but this is enough.
Both Wilma and I have had people come to us and complain of others who haven't been able to forgive.
So often we treat people who are traumatized and unable to forgive with judgement and high expectations, this list points to something very interesting. Rather than judgement, the broken unforgiving person might need love and support. Love enables forgiveness and healing.
We were so fortunate to have this all in place....
We will be eternally grateful for all the love and support we received.
I hope you see the miracle of this. The fact that we are able to look back to this entire event with gratitude is a miracle -- and speaks to the power of being community and showing support.
But - and this is also interesting... you would think that having experienced all of this - life would now become easier. You would think that we would now be able to live off of this experience for the rest of our lives. But love doesn't have a long shelf life -- it has to be fresh and applicable. There is an expiration date on it....
Little did I know....what lay ahead.
"What's a dogs favorite homework assignment?
A lab report!"
Time to reflect....
********************
How could we forgive?
Let's revisit that question....
Apparently, the murder of a child committed by a known rapist – for intentional sexual gratification - is unforgiveable.
According to the research, we were faced with an incredible challenge. Child abuse is considered "impossible to forgive" by nearly nine out 10 British adults. Murder and rape are close second. A poll for the BBC suggests that to experience both would double the validation that what we experienced was unforgiveable.
We didn’t know that it was unforgiveable.
But it is something we chose to do - and if we consider forgiveness as the ability to carry on our lives - we did this. It wasn't pretty but we stayed the course.
How did we do this? I would say we had a lot going for us....
- We had a gifted organizational leader who could galvanize and mobilize an amazing support movement of search. We had community support!
- We had the prayers of God’s people - a national prayer movement - that started the day after and remained vibrant throughout.
- Clarity of the issues - we had a "show and tell" trauma explanation that first night
- Preparation – my childhood was full of forgiveness.
- We had the modeling of our forefathers – being Mennonite we were brought up to believe in forgiveness. We had the modelling of our parents who attended churches regularly which proclaimed the story of Jesus dying on the Cross - the most compelling story of forgiveness.
- We were reminded constantly to remain motivated. memorizing the Lord's prayer. "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. "
- Solid partnership – Wilma and I were both on the same page, enacting it out in the same manner, keeping each other informed. You might notice that our stories are very similar. Our processes were similar, I was reading Helter Skelter, she was reading People of the Lie.
- Candace was an exemplary victim. Someone told us that she was the perfect victim; too young to have made any mistakes, yet old enough to have a glimpse of the wonderful person she would have become.
- There was no identifiable offender to pit his story against ours. The actual justice issues were simple and apparent. It was murder.
- Goodness was victorious almost immediately. The generous outpouring of donations towards the building of the Candace Derksen Swimming pool was public and convincing.
- Winnipeg was the perfect sized city. Large enough to have all the amenities of a city, yet small enough to have a community feeling. It also helped that the city a large cohesive Mennonite people group that stood behind us and understood us. (It's actually known as the Mennonite capital city of the world.)
- We had one or two wordsmiths that helped us express ourselves.
We could list more , but this is enough.
Both Wilma and I have had people come to us and complain of others who haven't been able to forgive.
So often we treat people who are traumatized and unable to forgive with judgement and high expectations, this list points to something very interesting. Rather than judgement, the broken unforgiving person might need love and support. Love enables forgiveness and healing.
We were so fortunate to have this all in place....
We will be eternally grateful for all the love and support we received.
I hope you see the miracle of this. The fact that we are able to look back to this entire event with gratitude is a miracle -- and speaks to the power of being community and showing support.
But - and this is also interesting... you would think that having experienced all of this - life would now become easier. You would think that we would now be able to live off of this experience for the rest of our lives. But love doesn't have a long shelf life -- it has to be fresh and applicable. There is an expiration date on it....
Little did I know....what lay ahead.
“ "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall.
Think of it--always.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall.
Think of it--always.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
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